Letting go is never going to be letting go because we can’t ever actually completely let go. It will still bother you three years later & you will still ask yourself “what if” but who said there was ever anything wrong with that. Why is it so bad for a person to genuinely give a damn about a person? It’s as if it has become so abnormal in society that when it actually happens, it’s like a disease. No one wants to care. I don’t want to care. & sometimes I don’t care. But at the same time, I will always care. Caring is equivalent to trying to breathe under water; it’s asking yourself to drown has you struggle to stay afloat despite all the pressure you have above you; it’s envying every fish for their gills as you just wanna be able to separate the hydrogen from the oxygen; it is suicide in the most oblivious form. Caring is killing yourself. So that’s why we try to let go. We become so tired if trying to be a god damn fish when we’re human beings, we weren’t made to survive in water & we weren’t made to survive in a living hell either. Letting go is as close as you will ever be to the flowing line that divides the water & the clear blue sky. Life with never be clear but it shouldn’t be dense either. The truth is, no matter how hard we try, there is no escape…but coming to this realization, is the greatest escape I have ever known.
I don’t wanna be a fish & I don’t wanna be a bird. I wanna be what lies between; I wanna be what floats softly with all the stress below me & the entire world in front of me. All I will ever be is human & I’m perfectly okay with it.